


cas and madison's bad bad fic

by faithzephyr, pastelskrulls



Category: Smallville, Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Crack Fic, For story reasons, Gen, Regret, half finished five plus one minus the one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-24 00:10:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14343864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faithzephyr/pseuds/faithzephyr, https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastelskrulls/pseuds/pastelskrulls
Summary: a cluster fuck of smallville fics that we somehow made into a semi-coherent story





	cas and madison's bad bad fic

**Author's Note:**

> whats up everybody, welcome to the bad fic. we wrote these separately then made them into one thing bc we're the worst.

i

Chloe refreshed her email for what felt like the thirtieth time in 5 minutes. Clark had obviously forgotten about the student debate article. Again. On an ordinary day, Chloe would’ve assumed he’d gotten sidetracked with Lana, but she was right across the room, curled up with a book in her lap. Chloe sighed and grabbed her coat. She needed that article and she was going to get it.

***

When Chloe reached the Kent Farm, it looked completely deserted. It was strange. There was no sign of life in the fields and she couldn’t see Clark in the barn.. She marched up the stairs to the farmhouse, shoved the door open, and immediately froze. Clark was sitting on a stool, framed by his parents. His back was covered in small, round bruises. There were about 9, though there could be more on his front.

“Um, should I come back?”

All three Kents whipped around as one, staring at her like a ghost.

Clark spoke first, hopping down from the stool and taking a half step towards her. “Chloe, what are you doing here?”

“I needed an article for the Torch.” Her eyes flicked to his chest, where even more bruises had started forming.

“Oh,” Clark said. He shifted his weight, leaning in a bit. “I’ll- I’ll send it to you.”

Chloe plastered on a false grin and nodded. “Great! Just wanted to make sure you hadn’t forgotten!”

Clark grabbed a t-shirt and pulled it on, covering the purple and yellow skin. He nodded back and Chloe turned, trying to ignore the journalist inside her, itching to find out what happened to her friend. She left thinking maybe the Kents weren’t all they seemed.

ii

After three months alone on an island, Lex wasn’t eager to go back to the solitude of his mansion. So, at noon, he grabbed the keys to his Porsche and drove down to the Kent Farm. The yellow farmhouse was warm and inviting. Lex walked up the porch steps and reached to the door knob, but quickly pulled away.

His hand was covered in warm, sticky, blood. His breath caught in his throat and he tested the door. It was unlocked, swinging open when he pushed it. He wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting to find. Whatever it was, it definitely wasn’t Clark Kent, lying on the kitchen floor, covered in blood, while his parents crowded over him.

“Clark!”

Martha looked up and quickly handed Jonathan a knife. What was this? “What are you doing to him?”

“Lex you need to leave,” Martha said, voice shaky with unshed tears.

“No! You’re hurting him!”

Jonathan dropped the knife and washcloth and stood. Clark gasped behind him and curled in on himself. Lex stepped toward the boy on the ground, only to be stopped by Jonathan towering in front of him. He could see Martha, who had gone back to holding the bloodied washcloth over Clark’s shoulder.

“If you are suggesting that I would hurt my son,” Jonathan’s voice was low and gravely, “Then you have a lot to learn about this family. Now get out.”

Lex cast one more look at the boy on the floor, turned on his heel, and ran. He would find Clark when he was alone, but for now, he had to reconsider his investigations into the Kents.

 

***

When the ship landed, it really didn’t surprise Lex that the Kents were the first ones on the scene. He had long been harbouring suspicions that there was something off about them, and their quick response only added to his stockpile of evidence. But speculation aside, the problem at hand was the ship. Lex had always suspected that the meteor shower would be the perfect opportunity for a ship to come to earth in the cover of the shower, but this. This was unlike anything Lex had ever seen, hell, any human even. It was sleek and advanced, light years ahead of technology on earth. There was something just so undeniably alien about it. Chloe was sure to want a scoop for the Torch. And speak of the devil, there she was now, bounding out of her car, camera in one hand and girlfriend in tow.

She made her way to Clark’s side, and Lex strode forwards to join the small party. The ship hissed open, a screen of smoke billowing outwards, momentarily blinding Lex. When the smoke dissipated, a man stood upright, towering above the humans. He stepped out of his ship, and for a moment, Lex was grateful to be face to face with the alien. Until he stayed hovering above the small group, his feet never making contact with the ground.

A gasp sounded from where Chloe stood, quickly followed by the clicks of her camera. Lex would have to ask for a copy of those. He struggled for a moment, but finally found his voice.

 

“Who… are you?” He hated how his voice shook, but in the moment, it felt justified.

Time seemed to slow as the man from the stars opened his mouth. And let out the most horrible noise Lex had ever heard. It sounded like a mix of dial up and static, and left Lex wondering how anybody could physically do that with their mouth and wishing it would stop, solely for the sake of Lex’s ears.

When the sound came to an end, the man finished off what was presumably his sentence with a glare directed towards the humans. Jonathan Kent was the first to break the silence that followed.

“What in god’s name did he just say?” The confusion was unanimous. Nobody could make heads or tails from the alien’s speech. Lex shook his head, at a loss for an explanation.

“Great. An alien comes to earth and we can’t understand a word he says. That will make for a great exclusive.” Chloe griped to Lana. “Still,” she raised her camera for another shot. “This is pretty good stuff for the Wall of Weird.”

“Dad,” Clark said abruptly. Everybody turned towards him, fully expecting him to be facing his father, but his eyes were trained on the alien.

“Clark?” Jonathan set his hand on his son’s shoulder, trying to shake him out of his trance. “Son, what’s wrong?”

Clark broke his gaze, tearing his eyes away from the alien. Unshed tears glinted in his eyes and worry rose in Lex. He pushed past Chloe to reach his best friend.

“Clark, look at me.” Clark looked down at Lex, shock still on his face, which. Understandable. “What is going on? I just want to help, but I can’t if you don’t talk to us.” Clark opened his mouth, a personal victory for Lex, and let out that same awful noise that the alien had made. Shock quickly replaced the worry that had consumed him, and he knew he wasn’t alone. It had torn Chloe’s attention away from her camera, Lana’s hands had flown to her mouth to stifle her gasp, and even Jonathan and Martha looked confused.

“Clark!” Chloe’s voice was shrill as she barreled into him, eager to get a new story. “How did you do that? How do you know the language? Do you know that guy? What’s going on?” She paused, Lex presumed to take a breath.

Jonathan pushed her back, standing before his son and building a barricade with his body. “Slow down, Chloe,” his wife joined him, the two forming a shield around their son. “There’s an explanation, but you need to be patient. And actually give Clark time to answer.” He turned on his son. “Now, do you feel like translating for us?” His voice was gentle. Understanding. Everything Lex had ever wanted from his own father.

Clark shook his head, denial and disgust clear on his face. “He can translate for himself. I’m not doing it.”

“Why not?” Chloe asked at the same time as Lex exclaimed “He can speak english?”

Clark sighed. “Yeah, he can speak english. He just doesn’t want to. Says he doesn’t want a filthy human language in his mouth.”

Lex rounded on the alien. How Clark had learned the language didn’t matter in the moment. What was important was the origin of the language. “Where are you from?” The alien merely raised an eyebrow. Rude. “Look we know you speak english. You know we know. And we know that you know that we know. Just answer our questions.”

The alien sighed and Lex knew he had won. “Fine. My name is Jor-el, and I am from Krypton.” A violent gasp came from Lex’s side, and all eyes snapped to Clark. “He,” Jor-el pointed towards Clark. “Is my son. Kal-el.”

*****

Jor-el was a man of science, deeply curious, almost dangerously so. It was something he’d carried with him since childhood, the need to explore, to learn. To know. A thirst for the unknown had led Kryptonians to the world changing discovery that they weren’t alone. A primitive species that called themselves “Humans”. They lived on a planet orbiting a yellow sun, one that would grant Kryptonians powers unlike anything seen before. It was this key piece of information that formed the beginnings of a series of events that would change the lives of Kryptonians and Humans alike.

“Lara!” Jor-el strode through the halls of his fortress. His wife sat comfortably, Kal-el asleep in her arms. She glanced up at his entrance, rocking Kal gently when he stirred.

“Yes, Jor-el?”

“You know what would be hilarious?” He picked their child out of his wife’s arms, cradling Kal close to his chest. Kal’s eyes peeked open, staring up at his father. He still had the light of innocence glowing behind his eyes.

“What, Jor-el?” An elegant eyebrow raised on her face, the picture of curiosity. This was why he loved her. Her inquisitiveness, her natural desire to learn. It was part of the reason they clicked together. Together, they would ensure that Kal followed in their footsteps. He would bring around a better future for Krypton, maybe even a new era of technology.

“Sending Kal to Earth.”

*****

“Wait, wait, wait. Wait.” Chloe was the first to break the silence that followed his tale. “So you took your son, you put him in a rocket, sent a series of meteors to earth, and pretended he was orphaned and alone in the universe, all for the hell of it.”

Jor-el rolled his eyes. “Well, when you say it like that, it sounds like a bad thing.” He turned back to Clark, Kal-el, whatever his name was, and held out a hand. “Regardless of my actions, I’m here to bring you home. My son.”

Clark looked from Jor-el to Martha and Jonathan. He nodded, a certain kind of understanding overtaking his face. “Fuck no.” He grabbed Jor-el and punted him into the fucking sun.


End file.
